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Please God, No.

6 Oct

Please God, No.

NOES_PosterPlease God, if you do one thing for me this year, make this stop. I’ve had to put up with a lot of let downs, disappointments and just plain old garbage. It seems like Hollywood is just out to trample on my childhood, spit in my eye and collect the checks from the people that don’t know any better. Please, make it stop.

Freddy Krueger is an institution. There is nothing to change, there is no more story to tell.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go cry.

Witness the trailer for this abomination below.

District 9

18 Aug

District 9

d9_copyI want to get three things out of the way before I get into this review of District 9:

1. I loved this film, so this review will be biased, sorry.
2. I am a sucker for a South African accent, I don’t know why.
3. If you go to the movies with a guy friend and you don’t have an empty seat between the two of you, you are gay.

Now then, on to the review.

Needless to say, the rest of this review contains spoilers, so if you haven’t seen District 9 yet, stop reading this and go handle that. Ok, I went to see this last night with my friend Rex, we followed proper ManDate™ protocol (empty seat, no refreshments, no talking) and I lived to make it home to my wife, who is a woman.

The first thing I have to ask is, when did the previews become longer than the movie? There were seriously like 16 previews, and I can’t remember one, so that is a huge marketing FAIL for whoever put those things together.

On to District 9. Peter Jackson gave Neil Blomkamp $30 million to film whatever he wanted after the Halo movie fell through. Neil chose this, and he chose wisely like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade. It’s based off of Neil’s short film Alive in Jo’burg which chronicles the landing of an alien craft in Johannesburg.

The film is truly beautiful, you know that the bulk of that $30 million went into special effects, and with the exception of the completely CGI aliens, everything looked so natural that you couldn’t tell what was real and fake. Image Engine did a great job there, no complaints. I wouldn’t watch the Hulk because he looked like wax, so these things are important to me.

It’s not often that completely digital characters make you feel for them, but Christopher does. He is stoic, proud and at the same time, sad. I’m letting my emo out a little bit, but the emotions come through on this guy, truly. The guy that plays the human lead, Sharlto Copley absolutely kills this role. This is the first movie he has ever been in a movie (you can see him briefly in the short) and he absolutely destroys. There is a scene where he realizes that he is becoming a prawn and finally learns that Christopher won’t be able to help him for 3 years, and he just breaks down. That dude can act, plus he says the F word alot (BONUS!).

Go watch District 9, I usually complain about everything in movies, I can’t think of one thing i would have changed. If not for the story, just go watch it to see some people get blown up, like seriously blown up into liquid. That alone is worth the price of the ticket.

If you do go, leave a seat between you and your boy. Either that or go watch The Time Travelers Wife and make-out with a dude.

Zombieland Trailer

19 Jun

Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) has made a habit of running from what scares him. Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) doesn’t have fears. If he did, he’d kick their ever-living ass. In a world overrun by zombies, these two are perfectly evolved survivors. But now, they’re about to stare down the most terrifying prospect of all: each other.

Zombieland opens October 9, 2009. Count me in.

Nike SB Debacle

18 Jun

debacle

Nike SB premiered their new video Debacle on the June 11th. It features their amateur team Daryl Angel, David Clark, Shane O’Neil, Theotis Beasley, Grant Taylor, Justin Brock and Dan Plunkett.

They are releasing it for free in HD format on the 24th. I’ll post up links to it as soon as they are available.

Check out the trailer below.